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Chris
Addison
Best Tweets
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Chris Addison is a top British comedian and
TV star. He is also a very funny and prolific writer on the
social networking site "Twitter". If you want to you can go
to that site and see all his "tweets", but to save time we have
collected here, for your amusement, some of our favorite Chris Addison tweets.
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<<>>
You know when your children become
friends with the children of your childhood friends?
Hereditary peers.
<<>>
You know when the universe reaches its
limit, contracts & time goes backwards? It's the bits when I
was sick I'm least looking forward to.
<<>>
Never use a pub urinal.
There are seventeen different types of peanut in there.
<<>>
This room looks like a bomb hit it.
And by "hit" I mean "read some books and played with some toys in".
<<>>
McCarthy really hated everything Lenin
stood for.
No wonder The Beatles broke up.
<<>>
Nunhead: What a nun loses when
she prays for the first time.
<<>>
The man with the pizza leaflets was here
five minutes after the paper recyclers came. I think he follows them
round.
<<>>
I think the most famous scouse scientist
is probably Our Chimedes.
<<>>
The Oklahoma City dump is most
unimpressive.
Just some slurry with a fridge on top.
<<>>
Looks like the owner of my local Greek
restaurant
has survived a vote of no condiments.
<<>>
Anyone know if Tom from MySpace has a
Facebook account? I miss that guy.
<<>>
Dear First Great Western Trains.
The words 'First' & 'Great' should not be in your name.
Also, I'm increasingly uncertain about 'Trains'.
<<>>
If Scotland does declare independence what
currency will they use? My guess: Stirling.
<<>>
I think I speak for everyone when I say I
have multiple personality disorder
<<>>
There's been a Beats International
incident!
We've gone to Def Con: Boss Walk Jam Nitty Gritty.
<<>>
Dear The Markets, don't be such a bunch of
pussies:
buck up and hold the line, you idiots.
Yours, The Global Economy.
<<>>
Some mixed herbs fell in my cup of tea. Do
I
(a) throw it away;
(b) drink it in the hope I've stumbled across
Asterix's magic potion?
<<>>
Back
to Funniest Twitter Accounts from Chris Addison Best Tweets
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