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Christmas Jokes
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This Christmas Jokes web page
has, for your free non commercial use a
collection of our favourite jokes on the theme of
Christmas and Santa Claus. Like Santa's elves, they are short and funny. We
hope you enjoy them.
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Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !
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Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
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Janet went to the Post Office
to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asked the clerk.
Janet paused, then said,
"Give me 35 Catholic
and 20 Church of England ones please."
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What do you get when you cross
a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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Why do Egyptian Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit
gets all the credit.
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Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else.
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What do you call an irrational fear of Santa?
Claustrophobia
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What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
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Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
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What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claws!
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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.
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Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
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What do you get if you cross an apple
with a Christmas Tree?
A pineapple.
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What sort of ball does not bounce?
A snow ball
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What do you call a bunch of chess enthusiasts
bragging about their abilities in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Hornaments.
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How do Meican sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad
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Why is it difficult to keep a secreat at the North Pole?
Because your teeth chatter.
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What do angry mice send each other in December?
Cross mouse cards.
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What do you call a letter sent
up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail
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Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Doughnut
Doughnut who ?
Doughnut open until Christmas!
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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet
and the ordinary alphabet?
No L
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Why did they let the turkey join the band?
He had the drumsticks
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What does a snowman wear on his head?
An ice cap
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What is green, hops, and is covered in tinsel?
A mistle-toad
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We hope you enjoyed these Christmas jokes. Please browse round the rest of our site for lots of other fun stuff.
Back
to Christmas Sayings from Christmas Jokes
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