Funny Christmas Poems

This funny Christmas poems web page has, for your free non commercial use a collection of short, modern, hilarious poems on the theme of Christmas and Santa Claus. They were written in 2010 and 2011 by Paul Perro, the popular children's writer, and are ideal for writing in Christmas cards. We hope you enjoy them.

No DVD, no socks, no tie,
No Nintendo DSi,
No gold, no frankinsense, no myrrh
No gift from me at all this year.

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Be happy and jolly
At this time of year.
Be nice to all the people you
Don't usually go near.

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Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Sprouts are boiling in the pan,
I wonder if this year you'll get
A sweater from your gran.

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A wish of joy and love is your
Christmas gift from me.
I know it is a cheap gift but
I can't afford a Wii.

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Here's a Christmas story for you,
You probably won't believe.
I bumped into old Santa Claus
Last year, on Christmas Eve.
I saw him up on my roof
Parking up his sled.
He gave me a message for you,
This is what he said -
" <name>has been naughty again,
Next year is his/her last chance.
Next year I am going to
Take a tougher stance."
I meant to pass the message on
But I did not remember.
Sorry there's not much of the year left,
Just half of December.

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I like being friends with you and I
Find your company pleasant.
I hope this means a lot because
I've not got you a present.

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I hope the Christmas spirit
Brings you joy and cheer
And when the spirit's finished
Get started on the beer!

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I hope this Christmas brings you
Fantastic festive fun,
Good will, peace, and joy,
And pressies by the ton!

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When Santa saw your Christmas list
He said "Ho Ho Ho!"
I asked if you'd been good this year,
He said "No No No!"

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