Funny Christmas Quotes

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Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!

~ Ogden Nash

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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

~ Phyllis Diller

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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

~ Shirley Temple

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You know you're getting old,
when Santa starts looking younger.

~ Robert Paul

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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

~ Phyllis Diller

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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying,
toys not included.

~ Bernard Manning

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Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
You know... the birth of Santa.

~ Bart Simpson

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Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.

~ Carol Nelson

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Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.

~ Benny Hill

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Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

~ Kin Hubbard

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