Humorous Epitaphs
Funny Headstone Sayings

This collection of funny headstone sayings contains our favorite humorous epitaphs from around the world. They have all appeared on actual gravestones, subject to a little editing here and there (e.g. Spike Milligan's epitaph is actually written in Gaelic on the gravestone, althought the translated version appears here). Not all these gravestones still exist, but they have all been reported by eye witnesses. We hope you enjoy them.












I told you I was ill
~ Spike Milligan

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Dorothy Cecil
Unmarried
As Yet

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John Edwards who perished in a fire 1904.
None could hold a candle to him.

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Here lies Samuel Foote, whose death may thousands save,
For death has now one foot in the grave.

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Here lies John Higley whose father and mother were drowned in the passage from America. Had they both lived, they would have been buried here.

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In joyous memory of George Jones who was president of the Newport Rifle Club for twenty years.
Always missed.

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Erected to the memory of John MacFarlane
Drowned in the Water of Leith
By a few affectionate friends.

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When I am dead
I hope it may be said,
"His sins were scarlet,
But his books were read"
~ Hilaire Belloc

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Let me know where you're working tomorrow night
and I'll come and see you.
~ John Osborne, playwright

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Here lies the body of Jessica Jones,
Who died of eating cherry stones.
Her name was Smith; it was not Jones,
But Jones was put to rhyme with Stones.

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Famous Last Words


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