Peter SerafinowiczBest TweetsPeter Serafinowicz is a top British comic actor and writer. He is also a very funny and prolific writer on the social networking site "Twitter". If you want to you can go to that site and see all his "tweets", but to save time we have collected here, for your amusement, some of our favorite Peter Serafinowicz tweets. | |
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<<>> Charlie Brown's head was so big because he was allergic to peanuts. <<>> Superglue's secret identity is normal glue. <<>> Napster (n): A narcoleptic hipster. <<>> Really sexy guy-robots probably have actual pussy-magnets. <<>> Big shout out to the hard of hearing. <<>> I prefer Dr. Pepper to Dr. Salt. <<>> Marvin Gaye also recorded "Non-Sexual Healing", for use in doctors' surgeries. <<>> Hey, Rainbow. Why'd you look so sad? <<>> Quick, I need some fables, ASOP. <<>> How much does it cost to go to war? I'm talking about warfare. <<>> Eating at this new Hitler-themed breakfast place, Luftwaffles. <<>> Must be awful if you're an architect and you get apartment block. <<>> You snooze, you lose. But at least you've had a snooze. <<>> Having sex without taking your clothes off is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off. <<>> The edible bit of a banana is called its 'penis'. <<>> The most annoying thing about when your phone dies is making the funeral arrangements. <<>> "Spaghetti, meet balls." <<>> If Eminem was a Cardinal I'd address him as "Your Eminemce" <<>> The 'hairy' bits visible on the sides of the sun are his 'sunburns'. <<>> You think asbestos is bad; at least we don't still have asworstos. <<>> I snapped my hamstring while I was walking my pig. <<>> Plants take pictures of keyboards using photosynthesis. <<>> My favourite female superhero is probably Spiderma'am. <<>> I'll sleep when I'm dead tired. <<>> I love the area under my balls, or my 'cul-de-sac'. <<>> If you want to cheerfully disagree with someone, just say "Nokey dokey" <<>> When a cockroach escapes from prison, he'll often leave an almond in his bed to fool the guards. <<>> Buy Task Manager app for phone ✓ Never use it ever again ✓ <<>> Life irritates Art. <<>> I have trouble even monotasking. <<>> I have a huge collection of pornography. You may have seen it. I keep it on the Internet. <<>> Nobody really needs a manicure, unless they have a manidisease. <<>> If you can't read this, you may be illiterate. <<>> This Valentine's, surprise her with a Christmas present. <<>> I think people should buy you a small present if it's one of your friends' birthdays. <<>> You can't make a human omelette without breaking some legs. <<>> What time does Amazon close tonight? <<>> Are there any good bakery games on Xbox, other than Knead For Speed? <<>> I poked my eye out .( <<>> Xmas Fact: Myrrh gets its name from the nonplussed reaction of those who receive it. <<>> If You Didn't Like It You Shouldn't Have Put A Ring On It <<>> Lots of you upset by my last joke. Have now deleted. I apologize again for any offense. <<>> Note - This last tweet actually caused quite a stir. Of course there was never any joke, but lots of people played along with the hoax on Twitter, expressing either mock outrage, or support. Before long, rumours began to circulate both within Twitter and in the outside world that Peter Serafinowicz had said something really shocking, and people started to speculate/hoax what it might have been (something to do with Sarah Palin was a popular one). Then some people actually became genuinely outraged that someone might have said something shocking, and offended by a joke that had never existed in the first place.
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