<<<>>>
I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of "You're Dead, I'm Rich".
<<<>>>
Cindy Campbell: We
have to call the police!
Ray: No way! I ain't
going to jail!
Greg: He's right!
Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison? All of those
sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat?
Ray: Hey, Cindy's
right. Maybe we should call the police.
<<<>>>
The police have asked us to give you the following safety tips: Stay in
well lit areas, never travel alone whenever possible, ALWAYS wear front
to back, and remember, never EVER believe someone when they tell you
that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation.
<<<>>>
The Killer: What's
your favorite scary movie?
Drew Decker: Kazaam!
You know, the one where Shaq plays a genie.
The Killer: That's
not a horror movie.
Drew Decker: Yeah,
well, you've never seen Shaq act.
<<<>>>
Look, if it's about that time I puked green slime and masturbated with
a crucifix, it was my first keg party, Bobby!
<<<>>>
Homeless Man: You
got a dollar?
Buffy Gilmore: Get
away from me, you bum.
Cindy Campbell:
Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich.
Homeless Man: I said
a dollar, bitch.
<<<>>>
Gail Hailstorm: If
you could have spoken to her before she died what would your last words
to her have been?
Shorty: Run bitch,
run!
<<<>>>
