<<<>>>
Did you eat a lot of paint chips
when you were a kid?
<<<>>>
Let's say the average person uses
ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half
percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin.
<<<>>>
You're not your dad! He could
sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman in white gloves!
<<<>>>
I can get a good look at a T-bone
by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take a butcher's
word for it.
<<<>>>
Tommy: Does this suit make me
look fat?
Richard: No, your face does.
<<<>>>
Ok, folks, the guy in front of
you is Tommy, he's gonna be taking you through my little spiel here.
Tommy is a Scorpio, he likes biking and he's never been laid.
<<<>>>
It's called reading! Top to
bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a
sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps.
<<<>>>
These shoes are Italian. They're worth
more than your life.
<<<>>>
My fellow nerds and I will retire
to the nerdery with our calculators.
<<<>>>
What the American public doesn't
know is what makes them the American public.
<<<>>>
